While I was young....

yaa...I know I'm cute...^^v

Warna Mata Kucing Berbeza...

Kelmarin MJ anta keta pegi cuci kat kedai carwash...lepas paking tempat cuci tu then duduk la di bangku yg disediakan dengan mummy...then, mata ni tertangkap satu cage tu ada dua ekor anak kucing kaler oren belang2...alahaiiii comeiiii!!!! ^^ tpi x brani mau kacau sebab takut kena marah...

then ada bos dia lalu smbil bawa seekor kucing kaler putih...smbil dia dukung ada seorg uncle tu cakap, "Cuba kamu tengok mata tu kucing..." then kami pun tengokla (bos tu bagi tengok)...."My God! Cantiknya mata kucing tu!!!!!" 

FIRST TIME nampak kaler mata kucing mcm tu...hehehhe....then bos tu masukkan sekali dalam sangkar....

then, MJ pun curi2 snap gmbr mata kucing tu...hehehehhe...^^....

kalau nak tahu lebih lanjut tentang kucing ni, napa mata dia lain2 kaler, sila klik disini...


miauuuuuu~~~~ ^^

Never Let This Go...

Do you ever feel when you really love somebody but you can't be with him anymore? It's not like he's died but you just think he's not the one for you anymore..You really like him, you really do and you've been together for many years but the relationship you had just went on and off..He's your biggest crush, that eyes, that smile, that face never fails to makes your heart melt each time you look at him and you willing to give everything just to be with him..I'm sure that figure crossed your mind just now..

Yeah, same like me..I'd been sacrifice everything just to be with this guy yet he gave me hope but killing it at the same time!!! For God's sake, I really want to be with this guy so much! I never forget our first met, his letters, his drawings, his texts, his voice while we on the call, his kisses, his touch, secrets and stuff only we knew..I miss all that! :((

Test by test...Distance become a major test..We are so close yet so far..His attitude changed me..Surroundings changed me and so do my heart..He left me hangover but he still said he loves me..How can I live with you so far and live with just few calls and texts from you? It tortures me so much! so much! that I think I had to move on...

So, I did..I tried to break free from this relationship..I had to move on and leave you..We can never get through this if the only one that struggle to save this relationship is only me! I deserved someone that can makes me happy..Someone that can makes me feel safe and never leaves me..You know throughout this searches I have been a bad girl, pathetic loser craving for attention, care and a piece of love...Without you, I free but suffer because I have been rely on you for many years that took me so hard to stand up on my feet again...Life offers me so much option so I choose to go.....

Now, I'm happy with someone new I met back at 2010...I think he's the one that I would like to spend my life with...Hopefully...

After all this time, living without you makes me forget about you less and less, but still there will be a time I think about you...Then, I found you  in Facebook..My heart skips a beat..You want me to add you, but even so nothing we can do anymore...I'm a bit jealous when you comment or like other girls pic or stat but guess that just you then...You haven't change and I'm glad I'm no longer with you..I don't want to share you but you're not belong to me anymore...I'm the one that let you go and pay the price so you can deserve someone better than me...

You're my God's precious gift...I will never forget you forever...Our 10 years of acquaintances, taught me lot of things...I really miss all the time we had together and I'm so glad we could be friends now...You willing to forgive me and I forgive you too...No matter how painful for me to deal with this heart ache, I still love you past, present and future...


You may found someone smarter, prettier than me, the one that can touch you longer than me, but I am your sweetest memories...You can't never replaces me....

p/s: if you wanna know who's the guy, click here...

I'm Not Coward!

Someone might said bad things to me for not updating this blog...well, all I can say is say whatever you want & IDC!!! I just been busy living my life & pretending to be busy when I'm not! I have been through so many things that I never imagined...I thought I would living in a normal life when I'm not...I have suffered so much things, so much energy, so much tears and guts to stand where I am today...And believe me it's not easy... :(( but still I'm grateful after all of this shits & to still breathing in this wonderful life God given me...

So, I made decision (again & again) to update this blog & share every stories, every moments, every piece of advice to all of you...Need your support here & there...^^...

GAMBATEH NE MJ-CHAN!!!!!!!!

My 1st attempt in playing guitar...

this is me...

I have started to play guitar on last week of August 2011...

I have inspired by my sis & my mom...

The feel I get when I play the guitar is really great!!!

(even though my fingers hurt a lot) >.

I really adore Taylor Swift, Colbie Caillat & Michelle Branch a lot...

I love their songs...

nice to play guitar also...

(and Avril Lavigne too!)

btw,

this is my 1st song that I've learned to play with...

Tim McGraw by Taylor Swift

and I dedicate this songs to my sis, mom & my loved ones, Richie...

^^

If I Die Young...

"The Band Perry - If I Die Young"

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh, uh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I've
Never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there's a
Boy here in town who says he'll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well,
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh (uh, oh)
The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls 

I'll keep listen & listen to this song...I never thought that this song would be my theme song for now...I keep asking myself 'what happen if I die young?' I wonder what would happen to my family, my friends and mostly my loved ones....


I....I realized I had this thing since 21 June 2011...and it is the reason I cry every night to my sleep...It's not that I'm afraid but my thought mostly for my family & my loved ones...suddenly everything changed...my mom really cared for me until she came to see me...For now, I keep asking God 'why me?' and 'why now?'...I keep telling myself that someone else maybe unlucky than me but you wouldn't understand if your not in my shoes...


Everyday I try to laugh & smile & being the same girl I always be...but you don't know the pain I hide inside...Everyday I will looked at the ultrasound picture and pray that one day it will go away and disappear...


Last night I text my mom that I am so afraid for the test this 16 Aug...then she replied me, 

"Compare to me, that is a small cut for you, but just remember my cut is longer & deeper when I give birth to your sister & brother through cesarean...Just trust in God..."

Nothing more than I can say....I just cry....

What If.......

What if someone you love died in an accident? How would you react? Will you believe it? What if, when the accident happens you was waiting for him/her to come home? What if the last message or call from him/her telling you that he loves you forever and wants you to wait for him to come home? How would you react? What if that time you were on the road with him/her during the accident, but you are the survivor not him? What would you do? What would you do?!! How much would you do to grieving and keep surviving? 


What if someone you love is diagnosed with cancer? How would you react? Will you believe it? Will you be his/her side by that time? Will you be there for him/her or do you leave him/her when you knows it? If him/her unmarried and have cancer, will you still marry him/her? How much would you love him/her? How much would you do to save him/her? How much you can sacrifice your energy, your time, your money, your everything? Will you keep supporting him/her and tell him/her that everything will be alright?


What if someone you love being murdered? How would you react? Do you believe in it? Will you still hug that body when you saw it?  How much can you hold the grief? Will you find the murderer? How far would you go? How much will you sacrifice? What if the murderer is closer than you think? 


What if.................


I'm sorry if this post have so much sensitivity issues...but you have to face it....this is my "what if......" question that pops into my mind every time before I close my eyes to sleep...what if....what if....I'm a bit negative-thinker sometimes & over-analyzed situations...but that helps me to get through this life....because every time I think positive, some of it slips away....Do you have the answers to each of the questions above? NO!...unless it happens to you....


Every time I think of my "what if" questions, I will cry...then I will pray so that people I love would be bless by the Lord and being taken care of...


But still I say to you keep the positive thinking and enjoy your life to the fullest....and keep praying... :))

I'm addicted to this Korean song....^___^.... OH YEAHHHH~~~

G.D &TOP (BIGBANG) feat. 2NE1 - Oh Yeah

actually this songs originally featuring Park Bom from 2NE1.....The embed code for the HD video was disabled by the uploader...huhu...T___T...NEVER MIND...You can click here for the video....Below got 2 songs from GD (G-DRAGON) & T.O.P with the song High High...then after that you can watch the live performance of Oh Yeah featuring miss super cute-barbie-like Park Bom... :))) enjoy watching...

P/S: I'm so gonna die watchin TOP...TOP dear will you be my lover??? :)) <3 <3 <3 neeeeeeee..... :PPPPP

and the lyrics don't forget... :)) 

GD & TOP Feat. Park Bom – OH YEAH Lyrics

**Hangul + Romanization**

oh yeah oh oh yeah top

oh yeah oh oh yeah gd

oh yeah oh oh yeah

oh yeah oh oh yeah

사랑은 falling 내 말 한마디면 넘어가

sarangeun falling ne mal hanmadimyon nomoga

귀신에 홀린 듯 널 보면 내가 넘어가

gwisine hollin deut nol bomyon nega nomoga

티내긴 싫지만 이미 you rock my world

tinegin siljiman imi you rock my world

내 맘에 골인 대답은 항상 oh yes girl

ne mame gorin dedabeun hangsang oh yes girl

아껴온 한 마디 살결을 가까이

akkyoun han madi salgyoreul gakkai

널 절대 실망시키지 않아 girl i promise

nol jolde silmangsikiji ana girl i promise

우리는 닮은꼴 남들과 다른 soul

urineun dalmeunkkul namdeulgwa dareun soul

지루한 세상을 등에지고 let's rock and roll

jiruhan sesangeul deungejigo let's rock and roll

um 오늘처럼 별이 빛나는 밤에

oneulchorom byori bitnaneun bame

행운의 예감이 우릴 부르네

hengun-eui yegami uril bureune

아름다운 소리로 질러줘 like this

areumdaun soriro jillojwo like this

(like)this(like)this

oh yeah (oh yeah) oh oh oh (now feel i got it)

oh yeah (oh yeah 제발 날 멈추지 마) oh yeah

oh yeah (oh yeah jebal nal nomchuji ma) oh yeah

oh oh oh mamama oh yeah (oh yeah yeah yeah yeah)

그댄 style부터 smile까지 모든 게 다 good

geuden style buto smile kkaji modeun ge da good

점점 서로에게 빠져드는 우리들

jomjom soroege ppajyodeuneun urideul

비워지는 나의 cup 니 향기로 fill it up

biwojineun naye cup ni hyanggiro fill it up

너와 내 불타는 kitchen 막 타오르는 느낌

nowa ne bultaneun kitchen mak taoreuneun neukkim

풍선껌처럼 부푼 맘 i'm just cellebrating

pungsonkkomchorom bupun mam i'm just cellebrating

i i i i i i like it babe

you you you you come be my lady

um 오늘처럼 별이 빛나는 밤에

oneulchorom byori bitnaneun bame

행운의 예감이 우릴 부르네

hengun-eui yegami uril bureune

아름다운 소리로 질러줘 like this

areumdaun soriro jillojwo like this

(like)this(like)this

oh yeah (oh yeah) oh oh oh (now feel i got it)

oh yeah (oh yeah 제발 날 멈추지 마) oh yeah

oh yeah (oh yeah jebal nal nomchuji ma) oh yeah

oh oh oh mamama oh yeah (oh yeah) oh yeah (yeah yeah yeah)

put your hands in the air put your hands in the air say yeah

put your hands in the air put your hands in the air say yeah

오늘처럼 별이 빛나는 밤에

oneulchorom byori bitnaneun bame

행운의 예감이 우릴 부르네

hengun-eui yegami uril bureune

아름다운 소리로 질러줘 like this

areumdaun soriro jillojwo like this

(like)this(like)this

oh yeah (oh yeah) oh oh oh (now feel i got it)

oh yeah (oh yeah 제발 날 멈추지 마) oh yeah

oh yeah (oh yeah jebal nal nomchuji ma) oh yeah

oh oh oh mamama oh yeah (oh yeah) oh yeah (yeah yeah yeah)

yeah yeah yeah you make me wanna say oh

yeah yeah yeah all they everyday oh oh yeah

oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah

**English Translation**

[TOP]

Oh Yeah Oh Oh Yeah T.O.P

[GD]

Oh Yeah Oh Oh Yeah G.D

[TOP]

Oh Yeah Oh Oh Yeah

[GD]

Oh Yeah Oh Oh Yeah

[GD]

Love is falling, if I say one word, you're drawn into me

Like I've seen a ghost, when I see you I'm drawn into you

I hate to hint at it but already, you rock my world

You've hit the bulls-eye of my heart, the answer is always oh yes girl

[TOP]

That word that I've been holding back till now, our skin's almost touching

I'll never disappoint you girl I promise

You and I are alike, we have a different soul than others

Let's carry this boring world on our backs and let's rock and roll

[BOM]

Mm On the nights when those stars are shining like tonight

Lady luck is calling us

Shout for me in a beautiful voice like this

(like) this (like) this

Oh yeah ([GD/TOP] Oh yeah now I'm feelin like) oh oh oh

Oh yeah ([GD/TOP] Oh yeah please don't stop me) oh yeah

Oh oh oh na na na oh yeah ([GD/TOP] Oh yea) oh yeah ([GD/TOP] Yeah yeah yeah)

[TOP]

From your style to your smile, every part of you is good

We're slowly falling for each other

My emptied out cup, with your scent, fill it up

[GD]

Your and my flaming kitchen, feels just like I'm being set on fire

Like bubble gum, my heart's swelling up I'm just celebrating

I-I-I-I-I-I like it babe

You you you you come be my lady

[BOM]

Mm On the nights when those stars are shining like tonight

Lady luck is calling us

Shout for me in a beautiful voice like this

(like) this (like) this

Oh yeah ([GD/TOP] Oh yeah now I'm feelin like) oh oh oh

Oh yeah ([GD/TOP] Oh yeah please don't stop me [BOM] Please don't stop) oh yeah

Oh oh oh na na na oh yeah ([GD/TOP] Oh yea) oh yeah ([GD/TOP] Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah)

[TOP]

Put your hands in the air

Put your hands in the air say yeah

Put your hands in the air

Put your hands in the air say yeah

[GD/TOP]

Mm On the nights when those stars are shining like tonight

Lady luck is calling us

Shout for me in a beautiful voice like this

(like) this (like) this

[BOM]

Oh yeah ([GD/TOP] Oh yeah now I'm feelin like) oh oh oh

Oh yeah ([GD/TOP] Oh yeah please don't stop me [BOM] Yeah) oh yeah

Oh oh oh na na na oh yeah ([GD/TOP] Oh yea) oh yeah ([GD/TOP] Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah)

[GD/TOP/BOM]

Yeah Yeah Yeah

You make me wanna say Oh

Yeah Yeah Yeah

Alll day everyday

Oh Oh Yeah

Oh Yeah Oh Yeah Oh Yeah

Get your GD & TOP Feat. Park Bom – OH YEAH mp3 now at this link...

I'm done waiting....

Sooner or later everybody will get tired of waiting...Waiting for that one guy/girl to realize that, “I would’ve treated her/him right. I would’ve been there for her/him.. like I always am, when nobody else is. I would’ve done my best to make her/him happy and so much more. Only if she/he noticed...”  Honestly, waiting for somebody and knowing that things will never happen between them, like a relationship, is hard...Believing and thinking positively is how they handle the pain, hoping that maybe one day things will come true...The pain of seeing that one guy/girl “talking” to another person or being with another person, it hurts, it really does. Once you let go, the pain goes away....eventually.....“I’m done waiting..."

Found this post on my dashboard in Tumblr… :)) 

Mama, I LOVE YOU...Happy Mothers Day...

HH

Spice Girls - Mama lyrics


She used to be my only enemy and never let me be free 
Catching me in places that I knew I should'nt be 
Every other day I crossed the line I didn't mean to be so bad 
I never thought you would become the friend I never had 


Back then I didn't know why 
Why you were misunderstood 
So now I see through your eyes 
All that you did was love 


Mama I love you, Mama I care 
Mama I love you, Mama my friend, You're my friend

I didn't want to hear it then but I'm not ashamed to say it now 
Every little thing you said and did was right for me 
I had a lot of to think about,about the way I usedto be 
Never had a sense of my responsibility 


Back then I didn't know why 
Why you were misunderstood 
So now I see through your eyes, all that you did was love 


Mama, I love you, Mama, I care 
Mama, I love you, Mama ,my friend, You're my friend 


But now I'm sure I know why, 
Why you were misunderstood 
So now I see through your eyes 
All I can give you is love is love 
Mama, I love you, Mama, I care 
Mama, I love you. Mama, my friend,You're my friend 
Mama, I love you, Mama, I care 
Mama, I love you, Mama, my friend, You're my friend.......

me & my mom...:)) isn't she lovely???

Baby, I was born this way... :))

Seperti kata Lady Gaga dalam lagu Born This Way...

"I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way..."

akhirnya aku telah mendapat inspirasi... :)) 

"There's nothing wrong with loving who you are"...YESS!!! I 100% AGREE!!! Memang MJ jeles gak kadang2 nampak org lain lebih cantik lebih slimmer & tinggi dari MJ...MJ pun nk juga jadi cantik...sedaya upaya nak kuruskan badan tapi x disiplin jugak...hurmmm.... yess, you have to love yourself...I have to love myself...even bf MJ pun da terima MJ dengan seadanya...hehe... :)) syukurlaa...

then MJ dengar la lagu Lady Gaga nie...x ramai org minat Lady Gaga ni sebab lagu dia, video klip dia n pemakaian dia yg bagi mereka tak senonoh...(bukan nak mengumpat dia kat cni k?)...just bagi MJ, she's just a person yang bekerja sebagai penyanyi dan penghibur yang hadir dengan perwatakan yang berbeza dari orang lain...sebab apa dia jadi famous??? sebab dia pelik & korang x suka dia...x suka tapi tgok juga kn? :P hahaha...lagu dia best ape... :P dia bukan kesah pun korang suka ke x... :P

"Don't be a drag -Just be a queen"

maksudnya, jadi lah ratu tapi bukan ratu yang drag...hahaha... :P (malas ku nak ungkapkan...:P) so dalam post ni juga MJ nak gtau laa...MJ born this way... :)) MJ yang anda kenal ini akan sentiasa jadi MJ yang kamu kenal...MJ yang pendiam tapi dengan kengkawan sgt2 aktif & suka bt lawak...:)) MJ yang panas baran tapi hati baik...chewaaaaaaaaa... :P MJ yang pelupa & pura2 lupa...hahaha....MJ yang jahat tapi sekadar jahat kat mulut jer...hehehe...byklaaa....apa yg penting, org yg kenal MJ lama memang da tau MJ ni jenis yang macam mana kn? :)) kn? kn?

"Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Whether you're broke or evergreen
You're black, white, beige, chola descent
You're Lebanese, you're orient
Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied, or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'cause baby you were born this way

No matter gay, straight, or bi,
lesbian, transgendered life,
I'm on the right track baby,
I was born to survive...
No matter black, white or beige
Chola or orient made,
I'm on the right track baby,
I was born to be brave..."

remember that folks... :)) No matter what, be true to yourself...No pretending, no fake personality...okay? I am born this way...God made me this way...If you don't like me, that's your problem... :P

"Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore."
— Lady Gaga