Saturday, July 16, 2011

If I Die Young...


"The Band Perry - If I Die Young"

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh, uh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I've
Never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there's a
Boy here in town who says he'll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well,
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh (uh, oh)
The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls 


I'll keep listen & listen to this song...I never thought that this song would be my theme song for now...I keep asking myself 'what happen if I die young?' I wonder what would happen to my family, my friends and mostly my loved ones....


I....I realized I had this thing since 21 June 2011...and it is the reason I cry every night to my sleep...It's not that I'm afraid but my thought mostly for my family & my loved ones...suddenly everything changed...my mom really cared for me until she came to see me...For now, I keep asking God 'why me?' and 'why now?'...I keep telling myself that someone else maybe unlucky than me but you wouldn't understand if your not in my shoes...


Everyday I try to laugh & smile & being the same girl I always be...but you don't know the pain I hide inside...Everyday I will looked at the ultrasound picture and pray that one day it will go away and disappear...


Last night I text my mom that I am so afraid for the test this 16 Aug...then she replied me, 


"Compare to me, that is a small cut for you, but just remember my cut is longer & deeper when I give birth to your sister & brother through cesarean...Just trust in God..."



Nothing more than I can say....I just cry....



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