Showing posts with label family matters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family matters. Show all posts

Saturday, July 16, 2011

If I Die Young...


"The Band Perry - If I Die Young"

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh, uh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I've
Never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there's a
Boy here in town who says he'll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well,
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh (uh, oh)
The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls 


I'll keep listen & listen to this song...I never thought that this song would be my theme song for now...I keep asking myself 'what happen if I die young?' I wonder what would happen to my family, my friends and mostly my loved ones....


I....I realized I had this thing since 21 June 2011...and it is the reason I cry every night to my sleep...It's not that I'm afraid but my thought mostly for my family & my loved ones...suddenly everything changed...my mom really cared for me until she came to see me...For now, I keep asking God 'why me?' and 'why now?'...I keep telling myself that someone else maybe unlucky than me but you wouldn't understand if your not in my shoes...


Everyday I try to laugh & smile & being the same girl I always be...but you don't know the pain I hide inside...Everyday I will looked at the ultrasound picture and pray that one day it will go away and disappear...


Last night I text my mom that I am so afraid for the test this 16 Aug...then she replied me, 


"Compare to me, that is a small cut for you, but just remember my cut is longer & deeper when I give birth to your sister & brother through cesarean...Just trust in God..."



Nothing more than I can say....I just cry....



Saturday, May 7, 2011

Mama, I LOVE YOU...Happy Mothers Day...

HH

Spice Girls - Mama lyrics


She used to be my only enemy and never let me be free 
Catching me in places that I knew I should'nt be 
Every other day I crossed the line I didn't mean to be so bad 
I never thought you would become the friend I never had 


Back then I didn't know why 
Why you were misunderstood 
So now I see through your eyes 
All that you did was love 


Mama I love you, Mama I care 
Mama I love you, Mama my friend, You're my friend


I didn't want to hear it then but I'm not ashamed to say it now 
Every little thing you said and did was right for me 
I had a lot of to think about,about the way I usedto be 
Never had a sense of my responsibility 


Back then I didn't know why 
Why you were misunderstood 
So now I see through your eyes, all that you did was love 


Mama, I love you, Mama, I care 
Mama, I love you, Mama ,my friend, You're my friend 


But now I'm sure I know why, 
Why you were misunderstood 
So now I see through your eyes 
All I can give you is love is love 
Mama, I love you, Mama, I care 
Mama, I love you. Mama, my friend,You're my friend 
Mama, I love you, Mama, I care 
Mama, I love you, Mama, my friend, You're my friend.......



me & my mom...:)) isn't she lovely???


Wednesday, December 22, 2010

15.12.10 - My Brother, Melvin's 11th Birthday

special page for my lil bro...

(lambat hupdate blog...hihihi...sorry guys...:P)

p/s: salah eja nama...smpi rumah bru perasan...xpelaaarrr...


my lil bro & lil sis...


blow the candles of 11...

yeahhh...momom kek!!!

meh kakak cuap u....muahhh...love my bro!!


with my beloved dad...


my dearest family!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO MELVIN!!!
WE LOVE YOU!!!



Sunday, December 12, 2010

Every Family Has Problems...


I promise myself I would never tell anything about personal matters here especially regarding my family problem but I guess I don't know where to go...

Some people never understood what was going on with our family...Since Nov 2008, our life have changed completely...totally changed! Everything happens so fast! No, no one was dead or sick...Just a case involving my dad...I don't know who to believe, who to depend on, who to point my finger at, who will care about us? Even our closest relatives backstabbing! Accuse my dad, judging him without even have a prove and understand my dad's condition...He's sick you know! Fuck you who call yourself a family!


You wouldn't even care last time when my family were very poor once upon a time...How hard our life at that moment...I still remember going to school with no money, no new uniform, no books...Even our house was about to sell off! FUCK!

How hard my dad to work by himself; when I woke up in the morning he's already in the paddy field & back to home for dinner!
How about you? Have you ever been in that kind of life?


I hate you & your family because you guys were too proud of yourself...You think you have car, you have big house, you have money then you can control me & my family? Hell yeah bitch! Who's house is bigger now? Who have big cars? I don't mean to boast but it's the truth! I hate your mom once upon a time because she's spoke some unkind words to me & I still have that words in mind...But you know what? I have what you guys don't have; FORGIVENESS!


Our family maybe didn't go to church as often as you do...But we don't have to show ourselves going to church just to show off that we are going to church...Get it? God only knows why...How my dad really miss to go church but didn't have a chance...He just said to us that God is always in our heart...Pray there! It's not that I don't like to go church in this village but I feel shy...No one would even talk to me and call me 'sombong n stuff...' I feel ache! How am I supposed to pray like that? How I miss Jesus Christ so much in my life?

I'm not sure how much do you know & heard about my family, because we don't give a damn! If my dad is really guilty in this case then let the judge speaks...We will accept the fact...But if he's innocent, then SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

You can hurt me but if you hurt my family, I'll show you what hurt is....I may be a tough chick, but I'm a girl that always wish for a happy ending too...I don't mean to get enemy here...just so you know...


'Lord, I know I have been a bad girl...That's because I have suffer so much, it turns me this way; tough, stronger & rude...Because I don't want to be played anymore...Dear Lord, please save my family from anything harm, sickness & tragedy...I love them so much that I would rather die than losing them...This I ask through Jesus Christ, our Lord...
Amen.......'
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